Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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