Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
