one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
