Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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