She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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