Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
