Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
