i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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