so explain again why im purple
no
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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