My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
