i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize