You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
