Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
