We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
should my penis look like a turkey
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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