He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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