420 ftw
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
