I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We talked him into tasing himself.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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