But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
