Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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