good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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