how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
