it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
