there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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