I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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