Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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