You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
