He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
