I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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