can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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