i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
