that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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