I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
