Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
