I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
