When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
