I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is