So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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