HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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