Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
