I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
