the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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