Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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