so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
