I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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