I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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