So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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