my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
