I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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