i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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