Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize