Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
