He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
