Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
