just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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