If i come over, it means nothing
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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