hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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