9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
