oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So much Jack, so little girl.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
