how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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