I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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